You think the globe is warming? Which planet are you on?

How cold is this winter? Sitting here, looking out over a clear blue sun-shiny sky on a mid-March morning, I would expect it to be 10° - or better. Some hope.

To provide some perspective, we have a small garden pond, which in a normal winter will usually develop a covering of ice at some stage, kept open with a water jet from an ornamental fish. In a really protracted cold spell the hole will get smaller and smaller, and in extreme cases need extra help with kettles and saucepans of boiling water.

Last winter, which was the chilliest for a while, there was one occasion like that, and another where the ice never reached the critical stage. So far this year there have been three serious freezes and we’re currently in our second non-critical ice-over.

So … winters are measured in Ponds. A mild one is a Half-a-pond, a regular one is a Pond, and a fairly harsh one is a Pond-and-a-half. So how do you classify a Three-and-two-halves?